‘Take a Pregnancy Test With Me’ Trend Growing Online

Right before I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I snuck off to the bathroom after my partner had gone to sleep. I locked the door behind me and took the pregnancy test alone. I wanted to surprise him—and it most certainly never occurred to me to film my reaction.

We diligently waited three months before telling our family and friends, keeping the secret just like we had been told everyone else does when they’re expecting a baby. At the time, it seemed like nobody violated these unspoken rules. Taking a pregnancy test was private. Waiting for weeks to announce your pregnancy was expected. 

That’s why I raised an eyebrow the first time I scrolled by a “take a pregnancy test with me” video on TikTok. At first, it was startling to see someone pee on a stick (or dip a stick in a cup of urine) on camera, exposing a moment that I then considered private, to millions of strangers. But now that my initial reaction has passed, I can’t stop watching pregnancy test reveal videos on TikTok and Instagram. 

These videos help shatter culturally-imposed silence around early pregnancy that can make some people feel isolated or even scared to enter this new chapter, causing them to approach it with more anxiety than excitement. By allowing viewers into this intimate moment, these videos normalize the incredibly common mix of complicated emotions that come with a positive pregnancy test, but that most people think they have to hide. The lack of embarrassment and shame is refreshing, and necessary.

And sometimes, making this type of video can give people the space to talk about all the complicated emotions and scenarios that might be concealed behind the happy pregnancy announcement—especially if they are a queer couple or have taken nontraditional paths toward pregnancy. 

On Instagram Reels, for instance, a user named Natalie Bouck reveals her positive pregnancy test after a successful round of IVF, while another woman filmed her reaction to a positive pregnancy test after experiencing two miscarriages.

Not all of these videos have a happy ending: Francesa Farago, whose partner is trans, filmed all the couples’ negative pregnancy tests, as they embarked on their own IVF journey. In sharing her heart-wrenching story, she helps couples going through a similar experience feel seen and understood. 

After two miscarriages of my own, I expected to feel a twinge of envy at seeing these women find out they were pregnant—instead, I felt a surge of joy while experiencing this moment with them. I don’t know how genuine the reactions are each time but I don’t necessarily care either. Watching all the stages of acceptance flash across the screen, from shock to happiness to even a moment of fear, makes me want to reach through my screen and hug the woman on the other side. 

I know that a social media trend is not going to single-handedly reverse all the sometimes harmful societal expectations that surround pregnancy. But the reason I watch these videos with such interest is that they take what was once a secret moment and turn it into a proclamation that whatever you feel while trying to get pregnant is normal and valid, and we don’t have to cope on our own. 

Looking back on it, I wish I had filmed my reaction to that initial positive pregnancy test so that I could share my excitement with the world. Had I seen “take a pregnancy test with me” videos back then, I might have felt more empowered to be open about how anxious I felt about a new pregnancy in the wake of a chemical miscarriage. I might have even been less determined to hide a huge life change from everyone who could have supported me in those early days.

The “take a pregnancy test with me” trend might break down social norms most people have come to accept about pregnancy, but maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe parents could all stand to be a little more open about the ups and downs of our experiences if it helps someone else out there feel a little less alone.